loneliness is a lover
September 25, 2004 – 2:54 pmI’ve seen both sides of lonely.
I’ve looked on continents of cloistered people
From the safe and quiet arms of a woman.
I know the fight
To try compassion for the uncherished,
Smoothing down my joy
As if it were unseriousness,
Back of my heart knowing
I myself could not forever be immune
To the shady, forward charms of loneliness.
There was a time I looked up
And out from her.
She was my first, betrothed in childhood.
We were familiars, but I wanted quit.
I despised her, hardening my desperate hope
To land among the happy,
The laughing, the lovely, the un-lonely.
She bade me sit with her, but I paced,
Stalking like a lion
Caged in sight of his natural prey.
I left her, but she trails me.
She stalks us;
Discomfits my mistresses
With her little notes
And private jokes.
At happy occasions she creeps
Into my woman’s face.
Mocking me,
She tries on all her expressions;
Kisses me with her lipstick,
As if to make me blush.
Jealous but not hateful,
She haunts me.
Foolish and tenderhearted,
She goads and teases,
Then weeps when arguments begin.
When my other lovers left
I still did not return her calls.
I slipped away to smoky darkness,
Cozy with my drinks,
Neither lonely
Nor taken up with friends.
Shrivelled, drying, untouched I was
Even by the love of loneliness.
Well, sweetheart, I am returned,
Alone with you again.
I paced enough outside those bars to know
There is no cage
We don’t all pace together.
And now I see at a tender glance
You’ve grown into a woman,
Full with the world;
Filled up with lovers and grandmothers,
Dorks and debutantes,
Soldiers and orphans,
Kings and the last to be picked at dodgeball.
You’re beautiful, kith fast to my soul;
Awesome more than an army with banners.
I settle down with you,
Gentler, happier than before,
And pleased to see in your smile
A thousand friends.
10 Responses to “loneliness is a lover”
Love it, Joel. I am both a dork AND a debutante.
By k_sra on Sep 25, 2004
This is lovely.
(Hate to think of you all alone, pacing outside those bars, though. Isn’t it getting chilly where you are? Go on in and have a drink!)
By Beer Bloggles on Sep 25, 2004
Oh, and I have to tell you that I like your new header thingey (whatever you call it- that thing with letter/ pictures.)
By Beer Bloggles on Sep 25, 2004
Yeah, what ^^he^^ said.
And this reminds me of the romance poem. Just as flawless.
By Daryk Jozef Havlicek on Sep 26, 2004
//[BeerBloggles]: Go on in and have a drink!//
NORM!!!
(Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.)
Daryk, interesting you should mention the Romance poem. They’re both personifications of an emotion or a state of being. But the two poems, to my way of thinking, also mirror each other as alternate ways of coping with loneliness. The Romance poem was from my stalking (like a lion) days. Nowadays I prefer to just walk.
By Joel on Sep 26, 2004
Okay, how many drinks DID I have? That wasn’t Beer Bloggles up there 2x earlier, that was me on Beer’s computer, too oblivious to see the “comment as a different user” staring me in the eyes. (Beer Bloggles doesn’t say things like “lovely.” Ever.) I went on a commenting tear all across everybody’s blogs- as Beer- and now you’re going to think Beer is something he’s not (i.e. really interested in poetry.) (’Cuz he’s not.) (Unless I write it, of course. Mine goes straight to the pool room.)
By honest + popular on Sep 26, 2004
Well, it sure was…uh, lovely to see Mr. Bloggles blogging about for a change. Even for such a short time…and not for real.
breathlessly: “But Mr. Bloggles is real! Sherrif, you gotta believe me!”
“Now Opie, what’ve I told you about telling stories about imaginary friends?”
By Joel on Sep 26, 2004
Aaaah, that’s funny! You make me laugh, Whitey, and that’s why I like you.
By honest + popular on Sep 26, 2004
kith? I’m too lazy to look it it up, so…
oh right, and I really like this one, but it’s just a tich too romantic still. Someone please right a Good Earth farmer’s poem for pete’s sake. Goodness knows farmers won’t get around to writing them.
By El Fid on Sep 26, 2004
Beer has a ghost writer? Who knew!
And, El Fid, I guess it’s up to you.
By k_sra on Sep 27, 2004