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February 19, 2005

the "dawn for a day" contest winners

The sun also sets, and as Robert Frost said in his bid for headline contest fame:

So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay at the Post.

It's a beautiful piece of work, but Bob didn't win. And so it goes with so many outstanding headlines and injected articles. I'm flattered that you participated, overwhelmed at your numbers, impressed by your excellence, entertained by your wit.

But there can be only one --or in this case two. So without further ado, congradulations to Award-Winning Headline Writer Pablo, and Rabidly Anti-Abortion Copyeditor Jon Sanders. I am pleased to present to the New York Post and to the world a revised Page Six headline and article:

Six' Sicks Sic Smitten Gurl for Eden Violation*

Eve: There is truly nothing new under the sun

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's full-term writeup of terminated copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter went foetal with love for his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was extracted from The Post for improper curettement of a news story in utero of its rabid pro-abortion views. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious, ultra sound ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at the 23rd annum and that she "hasn't had a relationship reach the first trimester for the past year or two." But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral, not fully formed." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite viable enough for me," he laughed.

Congradulations to both of you, Pablo and Jon. Thanks to everyone for particpating.

* THE MAKING OF THE WINNING HEADLINE: Pablo's headline seems to carry in it the arc of a story which, in my mind, goes something like this: some poor, underexposed copyeditor (probably a new hire) saw "Six' Sicks Smitten Gurl For Eden Violation" and pointed out the syntactical problem with using "Sicks" in this context. "Did we sic Gurley on Ms. Eden?" He asked in the margin, somewhat rhetorically, adding, "I thought Gurley was an Observer reporter." Naturally the writers of the story and headline never even glanced at his notations, but upper management was watching him like a hawk for signs of blogging, and spotted the rabid, anti-error sentiments our hero tried to inject. The poor fellow was called on the carpet and yelled at for being an uppity copyeditor. He was fired on the spot (officially, for mentioning the Observer on company time). But the error still bothered the young copyeditor, so as he walked out with the cardboard box of his belongings under his arm, he yelled out to the copy chief: "Six' Sicks [sic] Smitten Gurl For Eden Violation!" The copy chief grinned and yelled back, "Good luck, kid!" and then wrote down the headline Pablo presented. That's what I think happened. Do I have a nose for news or what?

Posted by joel at February 19, 2005 01:22 PM

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Comments

Pablo's headline was genius. Prior to his, I was fond of the "bum gush" one and the latent Hamlet reference in "Does George Rise at Dawn?" I wanted to make a Rumplestiltskin "crack" in my headline, but I couldn't quite make it work.

Thank you, Joel.

Posted by: Jon at February 19, 2005 06:49 PM

I was attempting to make a parallel with the temptation-of-Eve in the Garden of Eden story in Genesis. "666-smitten girl" (the serpent-tempted Eve) parallels Six' Sicks Sic (i.e., Page Six staff being referred to as "Sicks" (i.e., a group of (in this case, mentally) sick people) attacking (i.e., siccing) the supposedly "smitten" writer Gurley. Plus smitten is a form of the verb smite, a venerable Biblical term (just ask FrankJ!).

The "Eden violation" is fairly obvious (eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil parallels Dawn Eden's firing offense).

I thought maybe it would be a bit too cryptic, so I added the sub-head "Eve: There is truly nothing new under the sun", hoping to tip readers off to the basis for the joke.

The Page Six thing just got inside my head as a basis for a pun. Once the 666 idea crystallized, making the parallel with the Genesis story followed, and now I get my very own 8-month old newspaper for my efforts!

Posted by: Pablo [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2005 04:10 PM

Oh, one more thing:

http://www.dawneden.com/2005/02/congratulations-to-brilliant-chez-joel.html

Congratulations to the brilliant Chez Joel "Dawn for a Day" contest winners!

{Channeling Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Voice after receiving a compliment from Clarice} She said I'm brilliant! {/Rudolph voice}

Posted by: Pablo [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 21, 2005 09:53 PM

That's hilarious. And I can hear it with the closed-nose diction, too. She said I'b brih-yud!

Posted by: Jon at February 22, 2005 07:39 PM

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