Gurley-Man Pumps Up Post Pro-Lifer's Plump Posterior

Dawn of the Gurley Man

Lascivious George: Writer Bananas for Copy-Queen's Can

(angus.dwyer@yale.edu)

Gurl Crazy

Writer's bum gush raises question:
Does Gurley have heart-on for Dawn?

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for pissing off all the pro-abort muckedy-mucks whose posteriors we've been trying to smooch for ages. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 but, having wised up subsequently -- notwithstanding her puzzling choice to waste a couple of years in this journalistic outhouse . . . er, outpost -- "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." But Gurley -- who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard -- told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named saucy wench Ann Coulter as a recent crush. Other femmes d'amour for the Romeo Reporter included Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

Love-Struck Gurley Exposes Post Doing its Doody

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for improperly rewriting a news story to reflect her rabid anti-abortion views.Thus forcing us to expose our equally rabid, but heretofor well camalflauged pro-abortion views. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote,(as opposed to my being petty, witless and vindictive), also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." , foreign concepts to this writer "I was doing my job [I wish this guy would quit talking about things we at the Post don't understand]. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed. I didn't get the what was funny.

Does Curious George have an Eden Disorder?

It's Always Snarkiest Before that Dawn
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February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was smeared by The NY Post for improperly rewriting a news story, to not cover, hide and dismiss The Post's rabid pro-abortion views.

"Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ...but natch, just a kid, " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two."

After that Ms Eden and Mr. Gurley sat down to said roast. Dawn, he failed to note, a renowned chef who always knew how to stem the tides of stews n stuff.

Gurley -who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual."

"I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects. I let the New York Post burn them at the stakes" said Gurley.

He who named Corrie Ten Boom, Ann Coulter, Old Testament Ruth, Amy Carmicheal, Mother Theresa, Lauren Hutton, Dale Evans, the scriptures Martha and her sister Mary, Elisabeth Eliot, Sue Edelmen of The New York Post and other old gals and Biblical types. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

We'd think.

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of diminutive ankle-biting copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York High & Mighty All Fall Before the Power of the Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for breathing and not conforming to our Borgian view of the world. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." (AKA junk in the trunk) Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." from which we can assume that Dawn is a pathetic loser, a rabid screaming right-winger that is unable to intellectulayy stimulate a man enough to get him to bed her. But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual.", which means that he was constantly thinking about doing the horizontal Momba with Dawn, since that is all any man can think about. "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter (Wicked Witch of the Right), Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

"Gurley tempted by Eden in the Big Apple"

GURL OF HIS DREAMS: EAST OF EDEN?

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for improperly rewriting a news story to reflect her rabid anti-abortion views, which shocked us so much that we forgot to change it to "anti-choice". "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." (As opposed to the one we are trying to cover.) Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23, despite Planned Parenthood's rabid propaganda against chastity after 14, and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." But Gurley - who plans to spend this week's celebration of vapid luuuuuve with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, Rita Jenrette and St. Gianna Molla. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

Observations of a Gurley's Girl

She's No Gurley Girl

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for improperly rewriting a news story to reflect her rabid anti-abortion views. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed. Yesterday, 3020 babies were killed in the United States of America.

"Does George Rise at Dawn?"

(apologies if anyone finds that too suggestive...)

Hermes Hilary Heard Heard Gurley's Girley Girdled

Plump rump no frump

Paradise Lost? Observer Thinks of Eden's End

She had writer Eden right out of her hand

Weirdo Likes Nice, Attractive Woman

Post Roasts Gurley's Rump.

Whoops, I left out a word in my headline. It should be "Post Roasts Gurley's Plump Rump"

Wow, I must say Dawn will have a difficult time on this one. But, Katie, you're my girl!

George of the Jungle loses the Garden of Eden

Gurley's Latest Bond Fond of "Dr., NO!"

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's full-term writeup of terminated copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter went foetal with love for his 36-year-old subject, and whose main claim to fame was that she was extracted from The Post for improper curettement of a news story in utero of its rabid pro-abortion views. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious, ultra sound ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at the 23rd annum and that she "hasn't had a relationship reach the first trimester for the past year or two." But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral, not fully formed." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite viable enough for me," he laughed.

(Just in case I should have put my email address in the URL section.)

DAWN OF A WRITER'S INFATUATION
February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy (is he compensating for something?)writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume (you know what happens when you assume!) the reporter had fallen in love (really, now, is this all there is to love?)with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame (aside from all the awards, merits, and ingenuous work) was that she was fired from The Post for improperly rewriting a news story (if biased, liberal media rant equals news) to reflect her rabid (is she contagious?) anti-abortion (insert "pro-life" here is your a fundamentalist or conservative) views. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote (as he wiped drool from his chin), also mentioning her "plump rump." (Who knew they would talk about what was cooking for supper in the interview!) Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two." (What team does she play for again?) But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his (inflatable) girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary (doesn't that name make you cringe?) Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." (And you believe that, right?) "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named (what a memory!) Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed. (Or maybe "cerebral and intellectual" to Dawn Eden means of a higher level than a sixth-grade crush.)

The Post Fired Her, But Gurley Can't Sack Her

Virgin wannabe hasn't let a guy get to first base in two year! Yet, reporter George Gurley claims in a real long writeup that she's his idea of perfection. "She was pretty, witty, vivacious. . . " blah, blah, blah. Well, on Page Six we like'm pretty witless and vacuous. So what's Dawn Eden doing here? She isn't. We fired her! Seems Ms. Eden was adding facts to a perfectly pc news story behind our backs. And the kicker? She's "Pro-Life"! Prayers, crosses, the works! Like honey, you gotta get a life before you can protect one! And do yourself a favor - learn to play ball. We don't need no copy editor anyways!

Tempted By The Rump of Another?

February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter and former pre-born baby had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was fired from The Post for improperly suggesting that human life ought to be protected. "Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ..., " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two," perferring to be chaste rather than chased. But Gurley - who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual." "I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects," said Gurley, who named Ann Coulter, Lauren Hutton, Georgette Mosbacher and her sister Lynn Paulsin, Jan Amory, and Rita Jenrette. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

Curious George Seeks Dawn's Eden?

Writer Caught in the Line of Booty

It's Always Snarkiest Before that Dawn
_______________________________________________
February 13, 2005 -- READERS of George Gurley's lengthy writeup of copy editor Dawn Eden in the New York Observer might assume the reporter had fallen in love with his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim to fame was that she was smeared by The NY Post for improperly rewriting a news story, to not cover, hide and dismiss The Post's rabid pro-abortion views.

"Here was my idea of perfection: she was pretty, witty, vivacious ...but natch, just a kid, " Gurley wrote, also mentioning her "plump rump." Gurley reported that Eden lost her virginity at 23 and that she "hasn't rounded first base for the past year or two."

After that Ms. Eden and Mr. Gurley sat down to said roast, prepared with fresh potatoes and clarified butter, asparagus and a light sorbet. Dawn, he failed to note, an avid home-chef, in her off-time, who always knew how to stem the tides of stews-n-stuff.

Gurley -who plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend of three years, Hermes publicist Hilary Heard - told PAGE SIX his bonding with Eden was only "cerebral and intellectual."

"I was doing my job. I always fall in love with my subjects. I let the New York Post burn them at the stakes" said Gurley.

He who named Corrie Ten Boom, Old Testament Ruth, Amy Carmicheal, Mother Theresa, Dale Evans, the scriptures Martha and her sister Mary, Elisabeth Eliot, Joan of Arc and other heroines of the faith. "Maybe Dawn Eden's not quite old enough for me," he laughed.

We'd think.

(This post was re-edited, and contains my formal contribution to this contest. 2/16/05 )

Rather than repost my entire entry, I'd just like to remove the word "and" from my first sentence. I missed it during the preview stage. It should read: "... went foetal with love for his 36-year-old subject, whose main claim ..."

Thanks.

Oh, for editable comments. Duly noted, Jon.

Six' Sicks Sic Smitten Gurl for Eden Violation

Eve: There is truly nothing new under the sun