« October 2004 | Main | December 2004 »

November 21, 2004

kitchen quiz (part 1 conclusion)

The kitchen quiz is concluded. The answers are at the bottom of this post, printed upside-down. Just kidding, here they are:

  1. spagetti - ground black pepper
  2. spagetti - thyme
  3. spagetti - bay leaves
  4. spagetti - ground coriander
  5. spagetti - crushed red peppers
  6. spagetti - parsley flakes
  7. spagetti - paprika
  8. oatmeal - ginger powder
  9. oatmeal - cinnamon
  10. either - cardimom

Thanks to everyone who participated. Here are our winners:
Each winner should have recieved an email with a breakdown of his/her score, and instructions for getting his/her prize. Thanks to everybody who participated, this was lots of fun!

Posted by joel at 02:32 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

November 18, 2004

joel's kitchen quiz (part 1)

It's almost like you're cooking with your web browser!
Click the image for a closer look.
THE QUIZ I have decided to spice things up here at chezJoel with a pop quiz. This quiz features the choices and pitfalls I face in my own kitchen. There are two pillars of the bachelor's menu: oatmeal and spagetti. For each spice pictured above, provide the number, and the word "oatmeal" or the word "spagetti." Scoring will be done thuswize: for each spice for which you choose the appropriate menu item, you get one point. If you also guess the name of the spice, you get an additional two points. However, if you provide the name of the spice and you are wrong, you lose a point. So do not provide the name of the spice unless you are certain you know what it is.

THE PRIZES
Prizes for this ChezJoel Kitchen Quiz are being provided by PorchLightGifts.com.

1st Place: first pick of the items listed below.
2nd Place: second pick of what's left.
3rd Place: what's left.


SUBMITTING YOUR ENTRY
Email your answers to kitchenquiz -at- chezjoel -dot- com. You are always free to comment on this post, but do not submit your answers as comments, as this may help others to beat your score! The deadline for quiz entries is midnight on Saturday, November 20th, 2004, Eastern Standard Time.

Posted by joel at 01:49 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

November 11, 2004

is he...is he dead?

Like Dan Rather on election night, I'm really, really hesitant to "hit this muffin-head with the dab of gravy" he richly deserves. This evening Arafat's condition is said to be very stable indeed, but can I believe it? But Fox News is confirming it now, Arafat is dead. I'm not smiling. I'm not dancing in the streets. I'm not throwing candy to little children. But I'm hopeful.

I did have to laugh, though, as I contemplated the bulldozers clearing space amid the rubble in Ramallah. Of course a Jerusalem burial was out of the question. Nobody even seems to be fussing about it. But Israel wanted Gaza. Now, if I were Israel, and I wanted Arafat to be buried in Gaza, I'd probably say, "how about you's guys bury Yasser right there in Ramallah? You could scrape away a little spot in the midst of all that rubble, and bury him on the very site of his own intractable stubbornness. It would be a fitting tribute to his life's work; he made his last, ineffective stand in Ramallah, the last stand which put the final nail in the PA's economic coffin. In a sense, Ramallah defined Arafat, and so why not let Arafat define Ramallah in perpetuity?"

That's what I would've said if I were Israel, and I really wanted Arafat to be buried in Gaza. But of course Israel didn't say that. They said they preferred he be buried in the Gaza strip. So the Palestinians will dig a hole in Ramallah, and put the godfather of modern terrorism in the hole, and cover him up. This evening Arafat's condition is very stable indeed. I hope Suha got the bank account numbers she needed.

Posted by joel at 01:12 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

November 10, 2004

good night, arafat

Yasser Arafat is "sleeping" in a "light coma" or perhaps he slipped into a "deeper coma" last night. He apparently has a massive brain hemorrhage which is getting worse, but, nonetheless, his condition is "stable." And apparently its against Islamic law to remove him from "life support."

I have a solution. They can't pull the plug, but they could strap a bomb to him. As I understand it, that would be perfectly acceptable under Islamic law. I know the Parisian hospital probably has some regulations regarding explosive devices in their intensive care unit, but hey, c'mon, this is Yasser we're talking about here. How could the French be so gauche as to deny Arafat the kind of martyr's death he always wanted?

As this bloodthirsty godfather of modern terrorism approaches the Great Divorce, let us each take a quiet moment to remember the thousands of innocent civilians who lost their lives because of this man who was so defined by his hatred that he could not choose peace over slaughter, even when peace was presented to him on a silver platter. May his nihilistic vision for his people's future perish with him.

Posted by joel at 09:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 07, 2004

fantasy politics

For the first couple of days after the election, I fantasized about a new Democratic Party. I was encouraged by the first coverage by the MSM. CNN and MSNBC seemed to be admitting Bush had some sort of a mandate, and were bringing on guests who were somber, subdued, and who reflectively admitted the DNC had some soul searching to do. Apparently, when it comes to self-analysis, they are a quick study. It looks like they're done.

My fantasy has the Dems' leadership actually doing the work to reach out to middle America. I imagined the far-left fringe groups--most of whom are well and truly Marxist or even eco-anarchists--becoming disenchanted with the DNC, and increasingly breaking away to raise their own quirky banners. I hoped for a rift to occur in the Democratic Party somewhere far to the left, and I hoped that the rift between the Democrats and flyover country could be healed.

I believe I was mistaken. There will be rifts and rifts, but the loudmouths of the party are, at this point, continuing to hold common ground with the far left. What's more disturbing is that the party's leadership is now starting to rally to their "base". Today we hear that actually Bush has no mandate. Today we Bush voters are hearing that we're idiots, or gun-crazy suicidal nationalists, or fat, lazy rednecks. They talk about the blue states as a foreign country. They moan about wanting to secede from the Union. They screech that they're the ones who will have to live with Bush's policies; it wasn't middle America that was hit by terrorist planes!

Democrats, for Pete's sweet sake, pull your selves together. We are one nation. When, in the aftermath of 9/11's carnage, Rudy Giuliani said, "today we are all citizens of New York," we in the red states nodded soberly and muttered "damned straight" under our breath. You east-coast/left-coast blue-state liberals were, on that day, our fellow citizens, our neighbors, our friends, our family. So stop this crap about you bearing the brunt of the war on terrorism. The brunt is being borne tonight on the outskirts of Fallujah, by tough young men and women who hail from every state of the union, both blue and red.

We Republicans need you to sober up, get serious, get relevant and offer credible balance to the Republican party. I have a dream of a healthy two-party political system, but we need you to show up for the game.

Posted by joel at 03:43 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

November 06, 2004

i'm so sorry

People, it's now a movement. This is the new geocaching: you take a picture of yourself holding a sign with idiotic, scrawled apologies to Islamofascist tyrants, or to smug Eurosexual pseudo-intellectual chocolate makers. Do it: say for the rest of us who are not sensitive or nuanced enough to say for ourselves that we're so sorry to the Iraqi people. So sorry we dethroned the monster who was raping, dismembering and mass murdering his own countrymen. Well, I'm sorry too.

I hope the Chocolate Makers will someday be able to forgive us.
Click to see full-size just how sorry I am.

Posted by joel at 03:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 05, 2004

left behind

Please bring back the mohawk, yes! I can't wait!
Anarchist group Black Bloq was out in force at the San Francisco rally, and were at the center of the fizzled riot.
My brother sent me an email with a link to zombietime.com's coverage of the Nov. 3rd anti-Bush rally-and-would-be-riot in San Francisco. It looks like the fringe is headed underground again, and will find themselves increasingly in the company of anarchist groups who've been underground all along.

This is a familiar trend: the dawning of the Reagan era and accompanying rise of Conservatism was also the dawning of the punk era. The Bush era got off to a slow start because of a close election in 2000. The new punk era got off to a slow start because of a widespread patriotic response to 9/11. But the punks are all here now. Look for bleached blonde hair, combat boots and spiked leather accessories.

And on the East coast, New York libs are manifestly losing their grip. They're howling, weeping, or whining as their temperaments dictate. Britain, Australia and New Zealand report record numbers of Americans submitting applications for residency. That's just one more bonus. This country keeps getting more and more conservative.

Sheesh, honey, oil prices are up, and we've already sunk $87 billion into this thing. What profits are you talking about?
We may be seeing various leftist groups and parties flying their own colors now instead of attempting to appear as homogeneous with the Democratic Party.
Another observation: it would seem, from these photos of the San Fran demonstration march riot/dispersion that the various kook left-nut groups are now being more forthright about their specific affiliations. You're seeing these posters for various Socialist groups and parties (and also the anarchists) whereas before, they tended to sport signs that were almost always issue-centric. I'd guess their calculus before the election is that they wanted to appear contiguous with the Democratic party in support of the Johns. Now that the election is over, they're flying their respective colors, in hopes of drawing on the available pool of unaffiliated disgruntled youth protesters.
Is that an option? Let's talk about it!
In the wake of a clean election which provided Bush a clear popular-vote-backed mandate, Leftists are expressing a sense of alienation from "Middle America."
All of this could spell good news for the Democratic party if it means they will shuck their fringe leftist elements and shift back to the right as a party. This theory seems to jive with what we've been seeing on the MSM on television. The anchors and hosts of the various shows are admitting a mandate, and largely bringing on guests who back up that idea. It may be wishful thinking on my part, but I do hope the Democratic Party really is having a long overdue gut check. Maybe they're ready to dump some of the extreme left-wing baggage that has been hindering their appeal to "Middle America."

Zombietime.com was present at the rally, and has a lot more photos of the action here. It's worth a look.

Posted by joel at 01:42 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 04, 2004

felix magnificat

Isn't he just the cutest ever? I jest.
Stone-cold Mowgli.

I made myself a promise (note, I never made this promise to you) back when I started this blog that I would not write about my pets. I think it's a good guideline. It can be so dreary to read people who drag on about how their particular little fuzzball is cuter than all his forbears. But my cat has exceeded himself, and I cannot contain my enthusiasm.

Last night I was puttering around my garage, looking for stuff in all the boxes I never did unpack since last April, and cleaning up a bag of birdseed that the mice had raided. These wicked and malevolent creatures had dragged most of the bag out onto the workbench, spreading half-emptied husks over a two-foot-square area, approximately two to three inches deep. They also left a carpet of little black droppings whose density was commensurate with the feast. I immediately checked my poison station. Empty, of course. It had probably been empty a long time. Those darned mice even urinated on my bait station. It was sticky. I didn't really get wound up. No sense getting mad about it, because I was in it to win it. I had traps, I had poison, I had two cats with all their claws intact.

The older cat has questionable hunting skills. We used to have a pet cockatoo who would flutter his way to the floor now and then, on some fool errand or other, and Emma (the older cat) would stalk him. Once I walked in just as she was darting for him. I yelled at her, and she swerved right past him. I'm not sure, but I think I heard her mutter at the bird as she swept past: "Tag, you're it...sucker." But she's never killed anything. I've never seen her kill so much as a bug, despite her great interest in their movements. I think she believes her role is to see things don't get too out of hand.

But there is a new cat. He is black, fuzzy, friendly, but with great goggly yellow eyes which gaze back at you somewhere between startled and stark raving mad. I call him Mowgli, because he reminds me of the intrepid man-cub from Kipling's stories. He has never shown discretion when choosing targets for attack. As a wee kitten he would assail Emma, who, at over twice his size, could bat him across the room. He even took on the large dog Beau, much to his toothy delight.

Mowgli wanted to follow me as I headed back into the garage with a recharge for my poison station, so I let him join me. He started prowling around, sniffing stuff, doing the cat predator thing. After I had refilled the poison station, I called to the little guy, but he wasn't interested. So I left him in the garage, figuring I'd come back and reclaim him in a few minutes. A few minutes later Mowgli was still not interested in coming in. I debated going in and scooping him up, and hauling him into the house, but then decided I'd let him be. Let's see what he comes up with.

This was very late last night, actually it was early this morning. So I went to sleep for a few hours. I awoke and got some breakfast. I thought about Mowgli. I headed for the garage, and before I got to the door I could hear him mewling, announcing his desire to resume indoor life. I opened the door, and let him in.

Later, this afternoon, I was cruising the garage again, looking for some documents and looking for that little ziplock bag of pencils that I saw the other day. I happened to walk past the place where the mice had had their shindig with my birdseed. There on the bare workbench was a single deceased field mouse. Hmm, I thought. Did my poison already take effect? I thought it took a few days. I went back into the house to get the key for the poison station. Nope, the poison was untouched. I took a closer look at this mouse. Ah, yes, definite signs of the hunt. He played the Hitchhike with the Humans game, and lost. All because of my singularly magnificent cat.

I know that this achievement is nothing remarkable for a cat. Probably most cats will catch mice if given the opportunity. But I can't help but feel proud of that little feline. It reminds me of a scene from the movie Babe: the pig has just guided all the sheep into their enclosure to win the competition, and the crowd is ecstatic. Farmer Hogget just looks down at his pig and says, "That'll do, pig, that'll do."

What else can I say? I think I'll give him a title, and I think I'll let you help. No real rules I guess. It should be ridiculously complimentary. It should be a title appropriate for this instinctive young hunter, unguided as he was by formal training. I await your suggestions...winner gets the mouse.

Posted by joel at 06:08 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 03, 2004

this is christmas

This is my election stash.
Some of the cool stuff I received as I walked into the polling place yesterday.

This election has been like Christmas for the republican party. Here are my twelve days of Christmas:

Now if the Polar Express would pull up outside my door...

Posted by joel at 11:40 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 02, 2004

it feels so right

Doesn't this look fun?
Another chad goes swiftly and painlessly to heaven.

Posted by joel at 04:49 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

November 01, 2004

november

Suddenly this morning it looked like November outside. The farmer finally harvested his bean field yesterday afternoon, and the rising yellow dust looked like October. All the little cinderellas and spider men with their plastic pumpkin pails looked like October. Most of the leaves had fallen, but they still crunched, so that was like October too. But this morning it was wet and grey. The trees just seemed more barren. Is it colder now? The air just seems more Novemberish.

Election Day is tomorrow. Amid this grey and wet weather we Hoosiers will break our daily routines and head over to the polling place, and in an atmosphere of quiet dignity, we will cast our votes for many offices, this time to include the highest office of the land. My fellow Americans, I hope we know what we're doing. It's a grey, wet day in the world. At the fulcrum of this election, with everyone from the appeasers in socialist Europe to the haters in Islamist Iran to the brutal demagod in North Korea to the cave-dwelling thugs of Al Qaeda all watching us, somehow the air just seems a bit more Novemberish. May God help us stand together against evil. May God bless America.

Posted by joel at 04:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

web tracker