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October 20, 2004
no she didn't
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Pablo Martinez Monsivais, AP: You'd be different from Laura Bush?
Teh-rey-zah Heinz-Kerry: Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things. And I'm older, and my validation of what I do and what I believe and my experience is a little bit bigger — because I'm older, and I've had different experiences. And it's not a criticism of her. It's just, you know, what life is about. |
Dear Teh-rey-zah Heinz-Kerry,
I know I'm not the first to make this observation, but I'm really seeing it now: Teh-rey-zah, you are a complete buffoon. Last week we saw Kedwards and wives dishing it out on Cheney's daughter. Now we have you, Mrs. Heinz-Kerry, taking a kick at the first lady with your other foot (the one that isn't in your mouth).
The baffling thing about this interview is that there isn't anything to be gained by painting Mrs. Bush as a naive, stay-at-home ditzco midwestern housewife-girl. Fer cryin' out loud, Teh-rey-zah, you described her as if she were some 17-year-old who married a doofus because she was pregnant. Please allow me to break down the bitch-slapping you attempted in this interview.
"...she seems to be calm..."
Ah, yes, the left-wing nutjob fantasy: Mrs. Bush is a psycho! The fact that she doesn't show the strain means that she's constantly on the verge of snapping, and biting the heads off her secret service detail. C'mon Teresa, not every first lady can be Hillary. Is the first lady calm, or isn't she? Do the American people have the slightest reason to doubt that Laura Bush is in fact calm?
"...she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good."
This little dab of a patronizing compliment is the 1/8th teaspoon of saccharine that's supposed to make us swallow whatever you shove over next. Fair warning, I'm also keeping the salt shaker handy.
"But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up."
Teresa, why is what you don't know, of any interest to us? Did you research this question? (Get Elizabeth Edwards to show you how to use the Internet. It's really easy.) If you did research it, and you really do want to throw down with Laura, why don't you tell us what you know? Better yet, just say what you mean. Why don't you just come out and say what you think of homemaking wives? The facts, Teresa, if you'll allow them into your 66-year old head, are that Laura has a degree in library science, and worked as a librarian and elementary school teacher from 1968 through 1977. By your count, Teresa, she was a teenager at the time.
"...her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things..."
You are really working that pat-on-the-head schtick, aren't you.
"...I'm older..."
Yes. Yes you are. So what?
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Oh gosh. I'll say this for Mrs. Bush, Teresa. At least she doesn't talk like a phallus obsessed frat boy. Your "little bit bigger" experience includes marrying into wealth, and then in turn marrying a guy who was marrying into wealth. And this experience is important to John Kerry, but different from the experience of most Americans.
"...because I'm older..."
Yes, you mentioned that. I think we're all getting older, and we're doing it together! Even people with experiences in different things are getting older. Some of us aren't getting wiser, however.
"...it's not a criticism of her."
Well, I concede that point. It's really more of a snarky dig, the kind that catty nouveau-riche matrons make at high-society cocktail parties. It says more about you than it does about Laura Bush.
"It's just, you know, what life is about."
That is, like, so deep.
So what would be Laura Bush's response to this cat-fight callout? I'm guessing there won't be one. Laura's too busy being calm, promoting literacy, working for breast cancer awareness, planning the white house decor for the next four years, and taking care of her husband, their dog Spot, and their two cats, India and Ernie. Important, but not so different from regular Americans.
Very Sincerely,
Joel of ChezJoel.com
Posted by joel at October 20, 2004 01:32 PM
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Comments
Preach on, my brother. (And yes, it's true that you kick ass! This land will surely vote for Bush.)
Posted by: honest + popular at October 20, 2004 03:24 PM
The whole first-family obsession is strange to me. Do you really care? Why do you care?
Posted by: Worldgineer at October 20, 2004 03:31 PM
World, to be frank, that's the question that was going through my mind when I read Mrs. Heinz-Kerry's interview. Why was she ripping into the first lady as if there were any political points handed out? We're going to elect a president in November, and neither Laura nor Teresa is on the ballot. It's like Teresa thinks in terms of some cornball super spy movie, and this is the scene where the respective henchmen duke it out. It's stupid.
Posted by: Joel at October 20, 2004 04:08 PM
Yes, of course it's stupid. But seeing as how American politics have become much like a soap opera and more about image than integrity, it's not surprising. But you did a good job with the post.
Posted by: Diva Drip at October 20, 2004 08:30 PM
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